13 Books to read in your 20s - Tacos in the Dark

Here are thirteen books to read in your twenties. Or really, anytime! All of these books are amazing to read at any point in your life. The coming-of-age stories and personal development guides are perfect for anyone who needs to remind themselves of who they really are.

An overwhelming feeling I remember in my 20s was one of searching. A feeling of searching for the right thing. Is this the right college for me? Are these the right friends? Is this the right city? Major? Job? There are so many decisions to make that feel absolutely life-altering at the time. I remember trying to consume so much information, may that be books or movies or podcasts or blog posts, just looking for someone to say “Hey! This is what you should be doing!” I was always looking for some validation from someone or something. Although I am just out of my 20s, I’ve put together a list of thirteen books that helped me through those years. I hope they can help you too!

#1 The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

I know this one is technically a “young adult” read, but don’t let that deter you. This book is incredibly interesting and a great dive into a different childhood/teen years than my own, but probably very similar to a lot of people. I absolutely know people grew up entirely different than I did (rural, small town Iowa), but this book paints that picture so well.

“Sixteen-year-old Starr Carter moves between two worlds: the poor neighborhood where she lives and the fancy suburban prep school she attends. The uneasy balance between these worlds is shattered when Starr witnesses the fatal shooting of her childhood best friend Khalil at the hands of a police officer. Khalil was unarmed.

Soon afterward, his death is a national headline. Some are calling him a thug, maybe even a drug dealer and a gangbanger. Protesters are taking to the streets in Khalil’s name. Some cops and the local drug lord try to intimidate Starr and her family. What everyone wants to know is: what really went down that night? And the only person alive who can answer that is Starr.

But what Starr does—or does not—say could upend her community. It could also endanger her life.” (angiethomas.com)

#2 Untamed by Glennon Doyle

“You can do hard things.” That quote from Glennon Doyle’s Untamed has stuck with me. I have repeated it to myself time and time again, whether it be while running or convincing myself I can write a blog. I’ve also given this advice to friends to help them get through their hard things. We can all do hard things!

“In her most revealing and powerful memoir yet, the beloved activist, speaker, and bestselling author of Love Warrior and Carry On, Warrior explores the joy and peace we discover when we stop striving to meet the expectations of the world, and start trusting the voice deep within us.” (goodreads.com)

#3 You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

This is a book I reread (or re-listen) to at least once a year probably. It just has nuggets of information that hit me different at different times of my life. It also is a magnificent reminder, that we can do whatever we want! And you are so worthy of everything you want.

“In this refreshingly entertaining how-to guide, #1 New York Times Bestselling Author and world-traveling success coach, Jen Sincero, serves up 27 bite-sized chapters full of hilariously inspiring stories, sage advice, easy exercises, and the occasional swear word. If you’re ready to make some serious changes around here, You Are a Badass will help you: Identify and change the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors that stop you from getting what you want, blast past your fears so you can take big exciting risks, figure out how to make some damn money already, learn to love yourself and others, set big goals and reach them – it will basically show you how to create a life you totally love, and how to create it now.

By the end of You Are a Badass, you’ll understand why you are how you are, how to love what you can’t change, how to change what you don’t love, and how to use The Force to kick some serious ass.” (goodreads.com)

#4 Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling

I love Mindy Kaling. Starting with The Office and then The Mindy Project and I love her recent show Never Have I Ever. It’s on Netflix if you haven’t seen it yet. Mindy is hilarious and has a “Why Not Me” (her next book even) attitude about love. I often times think this, really, why not me? Why not you?!

“Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?”

Perhaps you want to know what Mindy thinks makes a great best friend (someone who will fill your prescription in the middle of the night), or what makes a great guy (one who is aware of all elderly people in any room at any time and acts accordingly), or what is the perfect amount of fame (so famous you can never get convicted of murder in a court of law), or how to maintain a trim figure (you will not find that information in these pages). If so, you’ve come to the right book, mostly!

In Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, Mindy invites readers on a tour of her life and her unscientific observations on romance, friendship, and Hollywood, with several conveniently placed stopping points for you to run errands and make phone calls. Mindy Kaling really is just a Girl Next Door—not so much literally anywhere in the continental United States, but definitely if you live in India or Sri Lanka.” (goodreads.com)

#5 Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes

I’d be lying if I didn’t read this book with the voice of Viola Davis and/or Kerry Washington in my head. They both have such commanding voices and definitely utilize the power of the pause. I didn’t watch all of Scandal or How to Get Away with Murder, but I loved the seasons I did see. Shonda Rhimes is such a creative mega-genius and I love this idea of saying Yes to everything for a year. I love saying yes to things and think I usually do, but what a fun concept! I’ve thought about maybe doing a month of yes!

“In this poignant, hilarious and deeply intimate call to arms, Hollywood’s most powerful woman, the mega-talented creator of Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal and executive producer of How to Get Away with Murder and Catch, reveals how saying YES changed her life – and how it can change yours too. With three hit shows on television and three children at home, Shonda Rhimes had lots of good reasons to say no when invitations arrived. Hollywood party? No. Speaking engagement? No. Media appearances? No.

And to an introvert like Shonda, who describes herself as ‘hugging the walls’ at social events and experiencing panic attacks before press interviews, there was a particular benefit to saying no: nothing new to fear. Then came Thanksgiving 2013, when Shonda’s sister Delorse muttered six little words at her: You never say yes to anything. Profound, impassioned and laugh-out-loud funny, in Year of Yes Shonda Rhimes reveals how saying YES changed – and saved – her life. And inspires readers everywhere to change their own lives with one little word: Yes.” (goodreads.com)

#6 Educated by Tara Westover

Growing up a teacher’s daughter, this book intrigued me from the get-go. Education was a big part of my upbringing and I still feel like it’s very important today. I think public schools are so vital to today’s youth and teachers are seriously the most undervalued people. So hearing this story of Tara and her family growing up and bucking the public school system had me interested. Again, another story to remind us that we all grow up so differently and how this shapes us as adults.

“Tara Westover was 17 the first time she set foot in a classroom. Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, she prepared for the end of the world by stockpiling home-canned peaches and sleeping with her “head-for-the-hills bag”. In the summer she stewed herbs for her mother, a midwife and healer, and in the winter she salvaged in her father’s junkyard.

Her father forbade hospitals, so Tara never saw a doctor or nurse. Gashes and concussions, even burns from explosions, were all treated at home with herbalism. The family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education and no one to intervene when one of Tara’s older brothers became violent.

Then, lacking any formal education, Tara began to educate herself. She taught herself enough mathematics and grammar to be admitted to Brigham Young University, where she studied history, learning for the first time about important world events like the Holocaust and the civil rights movement. Her quest for knowledge transformed her, taking her over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge. Only then would she wonder if she’d traveled too far, if there was still a way home.

Educated is an account of the struggle for self-invention. It is a tale of fierce family loyalty and of the grief that comes with severing the closest of ties. With the acute insight that distinguishes all great writers, Westover has crafted a universal coming-of-age story that gets to the heart of what an education is and what it offers: the perspective to see one’s life through new eyes and the will to change it.” (goodreads.com)

#7 A Woman is No Man by Etaf Rum

Another story of a woman growing up and coming-of-age in a situation I have to admit, I have never once thought about. This book opened my eyes to another culture. I loved that it went back and forth from the world through Deya’s eyes and the world of her mother’s. Deya’s strong will and grit kept me intrigued the entire book and I felt I saw a bit of myself in her.

“This debut novel by an Arab-American voice,takes us inside the lives of conservative Arab women living in America.

In Brooklyn, eighteen-year-old Deya is starting to meet with suitors. Though she doesn’t want to get married, her grandparents give her no choice. History is repeating itself: Deya’s mother, Isra, also had no choice when she left Palestine as a teenager to marry Adam. Though Deya was raised to believe her parents died in a car accident, a secret note from a mysterious, yet familiar-looking woman makes Deya question everything she was told about her past. As the narrative alternates between the lives of Deya and Isra, she begins to understand the dark, complex secrets behind her community.” (goodreads.com)

#8 Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know By Malcolm Gladwell

I started listening to this book on a whim. It was available and I needed something to listen to while cooking dinner (I’m obsessed with audiobooks). This was a book I didn’t know I needed. Gladwell weaves stories in and out of the one main concept that we as humans really do not know how to speak to one another.

“How did Fidel Castro fool the CIA for a generation? Why did Neville Chamberlain think he could trust Adolf Hitler? Why are campus sexual assaults on the rise? Do television sitcoms teach us something about the way we relate to each other that isn’t true?

Something is very wrong, Gladwell argues, with the tools and strategies we use to make sense of people we don’t know. And because we don’t know how to talk to strangers, we are inviting conflict and misunderstanding in ways that have a profound effect on our lives and our world.” (goodreads.com)

#9 The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg

This is the book that actually got me really thinking about my habits. Now, I’m a little obsessed with habits. We are all creatures of habits whether we know it or not. This book takes a deep dive into what makes a habit (good or bad) and shows you how to retrain yourself. Duhigg has incredible case studies from individuals and companies that will help you really understand the power of habits.

“In The Power of Habit, award-winning New York Times business reporter Charles Duhigg takes us to the thrilling edge of scientific discoveries that explain why habits exist and how they can be changed. With penetrating intelligence and an ability to distill vast amounts of information into engrossing narratives, Duhigg brings to life a whole new understanding of human nature and its potential for transformation.

At its core, The Power of Habit contains an exhilarating argument: The key to exercising regularly, losing weight, raising exceptional children, becoming more productive, building revolutionary companies and social movements, and achieving success is understanding how habits work.

Habits aren’t destiny. As Charles Duhigg shows, by harnessing this new science, we can transform our businesses, our communities, and our lives.” (goodreads.com)

#10 Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance

I actually just watched this movie on Netflix this weekend and it was so good! Glenn Close as Mamaw is uncanny. The book and the movie are a bit different, but both amazing in their own right. Again, it paints a picture of this world that’s entirely different than mine, but you can feel yourself in that place too. Trying to find your place in the world and make something of yourself. Yet, it’s so much more than a coming-of-age tale. It tells the story of millions of Americans in the middle of the country struggling with the changing landscapes of the US.

“Hillbilly Elegy is a passionate and personal analysis of a culture in crisis—that of white working-class Americans. The disintegration of this group, a process that has been slowly occurring now for more than forty years, has been reported with growing frequency and alarm, but has never before been written about as searingly from the inside. J. D. Vance tells the true story of what a social, regional, and class decline feels like when you were born with it hung around your neck.

A deeply moving memoir, with its share of humor and vividly colorful figures, Hillbilly Elegy is the story of how upward mobility really feels. And it is an urgent and troubling meditation on the loss of the American dream for a large segment of this country.” (goodreads.com)

#11 Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

I had to include a book of poetry! It can be intimidating, but Rupi is so relatable. I read this on my phone and I think I took screenshots of every other page because I thought wow, she is speaking right to my heart! This is a quick read, but something I come back to time and time again.

“Milk and honey’ is a collection of poetry and prose about survival. About the experience of violence, abuse, love, loss, and femininity. It is split into four chapters, and each chapter serves a different purpose. Deals with a different pain. Heals a different heartache. ‘milk and honey’ takes readers through a journey of the most bitter moments in life and finds sweetness in them because there is sweetness everywhere if you are just willing to look.” (goodreads.com)

#12 Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People by Bob Goff

I think about this book probably once per day. Bob’s recurring mantra of love everybody, always plays in my head. Love everybody, always… even the boss you can’t stand, the friend that is driving you crazy, the guy that cut you off in traffic, E V E R Y B O D Y. I’d be lying if I told you I’d even achieved this once. It’s so hard not to get upset with that client that is literally pushing every button you have. But. At least I have Bob’s words in my head.

“In his entertaining and inspiring follow-up to the New York Times bestselling phenomenon Love Does, Bob Goff takes readers on a journey into the secret of living without fear, constraint, or worry. The path toward the liberated existence we all long for is found in a truth as simple to say as it is hard to do: love people, even the difficult ones, without distinction and without limits.

Driven by Bob’s trademark storytelling, Everybody, Always reveals the lessons Bob learned–often the hard way–about what it means to love without inhibition, insecurity, or restriction. From finding the right friends to discovering the upside of failure, Everybody, Always points the way to embodying love by doing the unexpected, the intimidating, the seemingly impossible. Whether losing his shoes while skydiving solo or befriending a Ugandan witch doctor, Bob steps into life with a no-limits embrace of others that is as infectious as it is extraordinarily ordinary. Everybody, Always reveals how we can do the same.” (goodreads.com)

#13 The Happiness Project: Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun by Gretchen Rubin

Every time I mention this book to someone and they have no idea what I’m talking about I’m floored. I honestly thought Gretchen Rubin was a household name! I was mistaken. She may not be for everyone, but I do think everyone can benefit from this book. You may not want to embark on your own happiness project, but you will gain something from reading this book. In The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin breaks down her year month-by-month to make it the happiest year possible. She pairs science with psychology in such a way that just makes sense in my mind. She is very data driven and that speaks to me. If you want to add happiness to your life, I recommend this book.

“Gretchen Rubin had an epiphany one rainy afternoon in the unlikeliest of places: a city bus. “The days are long, but the years are short,” she realized. “Time is passing, and I’m not focusing enough on the things that really matter.” In that moment, she decided to dedicate a year to her happiness project.

In this lively and compelling account, Rubin chronicles her adventures during the twelve months she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific research, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier. Among other things, she found that novelty and challenge are powerful sources of happiness; that money can help buy happiness, when spent wisely; that outer order contributes to inner calm; and that the very smallest of changes can make the biggest difference. “ (goodreads.com)

Much Love,

Justina